The Purge, but for Cheating on Your Significant Other

commencing at the siren hooking up with

any of your friends girlfriends or

girlfriend's friends boyfriends friends

or friends boyfriends friends mothers or

mothers friends okay you get the point

all hooking up will be socially

acceptable for 12 continuous hours until

7am when the urge concludes Blessed Be

You lustful sickos in America a nation

reborn may God be with you

government mandated horniness what a

joke that is it's disgusting if anyone

respects the commitment and the confines

of a relationship it's us that's why I'm

so glad that we made our house the safe

house this year

[Music]

is somebody at the door

did you just smell your breath

Veronica and Mike hey oh let me grab

that for you darling

wow Connor are you invited my best

friend over here I completely forgot to

tell you Veronica actually texted me and

said she wasn't feeling too safe so I

invited her over here given that we're

the safe house so did you guys not have

a place to stay or that's what I thought

was funny I mean our house is totally

safe but but I thought it would be safer

if we um if we crashed here with you

guys safe is yeah I would never hook up

with my girlfriend's hot best friend so

hey I got an idea how about we uh drink

some wine to safety huh come on

I'm so glad we're above all this

animalistic Behavior you know hooking up

with whoever you want I mean the best

thing about a relationship are those

private secret moments that you share

behind closed doors absolutely and

you're not going to get those moments by

hooking up with your girlfriend's best

friend from eighth grade who has an

extremely tight figure

you're not that's oddly specific I'm

just so glad that we all agree no matter

the time of year that something should

just remain off limits

cheers to that

yeah

oh my gosh I wonder who that could be

why are you putting on lip gloss

you invited my older brother tonight

baby he reached out to me and he was

saying that he felt unsafe in his

apartment and I didn't want anybody to

not feel safe tonight

you own a house buddy but the roommates

you know pretty scary and family first

right

hey someone hasn't been skipping Hot

Yoga you're the one to talk look at

these things they aren't bigger than

mine it was chest day let's go get safe

so we were just all talking about how

we're so proud of ourselves that we

don't indulge in that animalistic

Behavior by hooking up with random

people which just ultimately leads to

regret the next day

even if it's your younger brother's high

school sweetheart where you've seen

blossomed through all the years and grow

into a beautiful young woman

do

even if it's not

even if it's there as long as we have

each other on this disgusting night it's

sick

to monogamy

I wonder who that could be

is that cologne Jasmine Monica how are

you guys my cousin and her wife yeah I

forgot to tell you Monica had some car

trouble and she wanted me to take a look

under the hood so I told her to come on

by we've always wanted to try a third

gear just leave it to the professionals

you know that's what I always say you

drive a moped no I don't

right so we were just saying that we're

so glad that we don't participate in any

of that disgusting animalistic Behavior

you invited my Peapod looking good

peaches you can really pick up Lance huh

Yogi you're looking good

our yoga instructor Namaste ladies you

can't act like you weren't thinking

about who invited Miss Martinez my

eighth grade Spanish teacher extra large

meat lovers Pizza which one is getting

nailed I heard there are some cavities

that need filling we're here to run a

train

and we'll SPF 69 don't want to get

burned out there

Kevin from two houses nobody invited me

but you know read on the uh on the gram

that this is a safe house something you

gotta have Daddy get out of here

okay welcome to the safe house will

everyone say okay

okay here we go we're all safe

[Music]

welcome to the safe house where we're

above all the hooking up stuff even if

there's a lot of

tight bodies with good

tits

[Music]

next year my house I'm two houses down

what's your Instagram handles let's

follow each other two pump jump over

here I don't know about I want him next

year we can get somebody better than him