Aren't You My Babysitter?

hi hello sarah just uh your babysitter

for today yeah

awesome cool i gotta get going so i'll

make this quick but yeah

she'll be pretty easy she has a bedtime

at like one

don't let her get into any trouble or

anything yeah and you should be good you

like the new shoes by the way

those bad boys all righty then yep

there she is oh hey hello

all right camper she's like like 20 or

yeah

just make sure she doesn't get in any

trouble buddy you got a housekeeping gym

you look familiar were you my mechanic

nurse and internet guy every time i

switch my profession it

you still somehow get my number and

i had to switch it like four times and

look at us now

it sounds like you just can't get enough

of me yeah

here we here we go again listen you're

my babysitter

and baby needs a sitting aren't you like

20 or something no i'm this many

cool yeah yeah you're so so you're four

hey

i'm gonna tattletail on you if you don't

paddle my tail i

really just need this job i'm so late in

my bills can

for eight hours can we just you know

hang out or something

normal nothing crazy listen

we can figure out a way where i can pay

a little

extra i i think your dad is giving me a

check i fenmo oh aren't you supposed to

be like four

no i'm a trust fund baby that that

doesn't make any sense at all uh yeah

guys baby needs a food

you think you could suck it out of my

mommy milkers and spit it back into my

mouth i'm actually

lactose so i wouldn't want to

drink for me or mommy milkers or or

anything milk related

sounds like you're just vanilla you are

so funny

i'm not saying anything standing looking

at you

no yeah you just like are super cute and

you just look super funny well we have

seven hours and 58 minutes of this

should we like

sit down or something or watch tv come

on

we'll watch coke melon and you can rub

my melon yeah i'll i'll sit by you

just no funny business or anything yes

yes sit next to me

cool cool you you don't really have a tv

or really anything here

that's okay we can we can figure it out

do you want to like do something or are

we just going to sit here for like

seven hours no we could do something

what do you want to do

um what are you into i'm into

not talking to you because

no talking i can do that yeah i got you

i mean the only word i'll say is daddy

oh i just learned that word two weeks

ago because i'm four

remember i think i need a burping

yeah a burping yeah i'm a baby you don't

you can't burp

yourself are you going to burp me sure

yeah let's

i'll do that okay oh no no no

yeah you haven't you haven't burped so

oh yeah harder harder oops sorry i

forgot my potato

chips here this is so weird what's going

on

no i'm not doing anything she's what are

you doing kind of burper i just needed

you to make sure her boyfriend doesn't

come over and she doesn't sneak out

she goes to bed on time so she could

wake up for sure she asked me to burp

her

i've only been for like four minutes i

don't i don't

i didn't ask him to burn me this looks

inappropriate huh

i just really am aren't you the mechanic

i'm also the nurse oh yeah you're a

busy guy aren't you yeah um i got

trouble burping too

man i hate when i get all congested up

there

anyways so you're not gonna fire me can

you just

fire me make sure she doesn't skedaddle

out of here oh i'll stay

right here daddy don't worry could you

just

fire me please i don't need the money

hey look at that

all right you two i'm not gonna fire you

why would i fire you

goodbye see ya

yeah you burp her boy you burp her right

but that's all she gets if she goes for

that bulge in your pants she's gonna get

shot in the face with a

caliber

[Music]

uh you missed a lot

okay i do need milkies can you suck it

out of my mommies and spit it into my

mouth

[Music]